Elusive
by feist
Summary: TeylaJohn fic, drama, angst, fluff... and if I can work him, in a little Major Lorne action. Beginning with Season 2x12


_A/N: I Thought maybe I should point out that this story begins with John & Teer (Epiphany), overall i'ts J/T but it won't get that way so easily :)_

Chapter 1: Epiphany

Her foot slowly traced the inside and back of his leg as he lay quietly on top of her; his hands wrapped loosely around her waist, his breath warm and soft against her breast. He had slipped away again she noticed, as he often did, sometimes during, always after…to them…to _her_. She did not mean to intrude… but their lovemaking left him more open then usual and his emotions would rush through her, making things he would never say or admit to clear as the light of day.

He would close his eyes as he came, or bury his face in her shoulder, back or hair - biting off the name she knew wasn't hers, swallowing back the whispers meant for another. He didn't want her to know she had realized, to see, or to hear… his heart was full of another.

Teer's thoughts sifted easily through his as she threaded her fingers through the rough hair at the nape of his neck. He was thinking of them again, wondering what they were doing, why they hadn't come for him, why _she_ hadn't come. Had her quest for ascension not softened her outlook, she might have been jealous. Their intimacy always shadowed by _her_ presence, his inability to let go of _her_ or any of them preventing him from accepting his place in the village… and at her side. She ached from the knowledge that she was not and could not be the answer to his problems in the way he was to hers.

She felt him tense against her suddenly, his loose grip around her waist tightening ever so slightly as he tried to ward off the memory of a conversation _they_ had had. "Give it no further thought" _she_ had told him, and he had agreed to—readily, stifling the voice inside him that screamed "_impossible_" as _she_ smiled at him and walked away.

He came back to her then, pushing down the memory as he pulled Teer's hands from his hair and pinned them against the pillow above her head. His eyes met hers and for a moment Teer was sure he knew, that he could sense she had been "watching."

"John I…" she started, finding it hard not to look away. "I didn't mean to…" she said softly, watching the frown slowly break across his face.

"Stay outta my head Teer…" he said quietly. But before she could respond he leaned down and kissed her, pushing away her doubts and questions, while trying desperately to squelch his own.

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Teer pulled the left side of John's shirt towards her reaching behind his back to grab the end as she wrapped it tightly around his waist. The need she felt to constantly "tend" to him was strange but also comforting. He reached down to place his fingers beneath her chin and lifted her head to look into her eyes. "I don't mean to be grumpy," he apologized. "In fact normally I'm rather pleasant, some might even say charming." She smiled up at him, and kissed his cheek, tucking in the end of his shirt as she turned to leave. "I'm just…" he continued, scratching absentmindedly at his beard. "Not ready to let go." He looked past her and through the open doorway. "To choose your uh…you know…path."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Then let us instead choose to eat," she said lightly. "It is almost time for the midday meal."

He grinned down at her as he followed her out, hoping she understood. Maybe he _was_ the one to defeat the beast (though he still had no idea how he was supposed to accomplish that), but the other thing she wished for. The thing he didn't need her abilities to know that she wanted… simply was not free to give.

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"What the hell took you so long?" Ronan mimicked, while the others laughed around him. Sheppard sat obediently now on the _right side_ of the planets portal while Beckett prodded and fussed over him, still unable to believe that a child had been able to heal the wounds he had suffered with no more than the power of her mind and a light touch.

"You've suffered a broken wrist, a fractured collar bone, two broken ribs…" he let out an exasperated breath. "And they've all been completely healed. I've never seen anything like it. I wouldn't have even noticed if not for this fancy equipment." He waved around the scanner he held as if to emphasize his point.

"Well the only fancy equipment I'm interested in at the moment," replied Sheppard, rising to his feet "is a razor."

"And maybe a comb," added Ronan giving John a one over before turning back towards the path to the stargate.

"Hmm," said Rodney turning to follow. "Now isn't that a case of the pot calling the kettle."

Sheppard didn't hear Ronan's reply, but he laughed along with Elizabeth and Carson as Rodney yelled something defensively about just preferring a more tailored look, and how he was not suffering from some sort of earth male baldness.

Reaching down to pick up his pack he looked over at Teyla who hadn't actually said much on their way back to the portal. She smiled at him as she moved to follow Weir and Beckett who were following Rodney and Ronan out of the clearing.

"Are you all right Colonel?" she asked, hesitating briefly.

"Ya…of course" he said, swinging his pack over his shoulder. "I just… missed you." He looked away nervously, waiting for her to remind him that it had only been a couple of hours for them, that all his obsessing over what had happened to them and wondering if they were okay hadn't fully been reciprocated. But she didn't, she simply smiled at him softly and said...

"I know."

_(to be continued)_


End file.
